Tips to Advocate for Yourself in Labor + Britnee’s Home Birth Story
As a mom of five, I’ve had my fair share of labor and delivery experiences. Each one has been different, but my most memorable by far is the birth that caught everyone off guard—even the doctors.
I had gone into the doctor’s office feeling the signs of labor, but after an exam, they sent me home, assuring me that I wasn’t ready. I remember feeling uncertain, but I trusted their judgment. Less than an hour after walking through my front door, I delivered my baby right at home.
It was a whirlwind, to say the least. Thankfully, my husband and I were able to stay calm, and everything went smoothly, but that experience taught me a lot about advocating for myself in labor. Here’s what I’ve learned—and what I hope every mom takes to heart.
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Trust Your Body
No one knows your body like you do. While medical professionals have expertise, they aren’t inside your skin. If something doesn’t feel right, or if you sense that labor is progressing quickly, speak up. Looking back, I wish I had pressed a bit harder when I felt unsure about being sent home.
Labor is unpredictable, and no two experiences are alike. Trusting your instincts is crucial—you’re the one living in your body, and you know when something feels “off.”
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Have a Partner Who Knows Your Birth Plan
Having someone with you who understands your birth history and preferences can make all the difference. It’s hard to advocate for yourself during labor because you’re in the moment, focused on what your body is doing. That’s why having a birth partner—whether it’s your spouse, a doula, or a trusted friend—is so important.
My husband and I had discussed our birth plan thoroughly, so when things escalated quickly, he knew how to help me focus and keep everything on track. A supportive partner who knows your history can help you ask the right questions and make informed decisions.
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Ask Questions Without Fear
Doctors and nurses are human, too, and they can make mistakes. You’re not bothering anyone by asking questions or seeking clarity—you’re taking control of your experience.
Some helpful questions to consider:
- “If I go home and labor progresses quickly, what’s the plan?”
- “What signs should I watch for that mean I need to come back immediately?”
- “What happens if I wait another hour here before leaving?”
- “If we do X, what happens? If we do Y?”
Sometimes, just phrasing things differently can help everyone think through the situation more clearly. It’s not about challenging authority; it’s about ensuring you have all the information you need.
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Be Polite but Firm
Advocating for yourself doesn’t mean being confrontational. It means standing up for what you feel is best while remaining respectful.
A simple, “I’m feeling unsure about going home—can we reassess?” can go a long way. Remember that healthcare providers are people too, and kindness goes a long way. Treat others how you’d want to be treated, and you’re more likely to have productive conversations.
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Be Prepared for the Unexpected
Sometimes, things don’t go as planned, and you need to be ready to adapt. For us, that meant delivering our baby at home.
We stayed calm because we had done our research and knew the basics of what to do in an emergency. While you don’t need to remember everything, knowing enough to feel confident in the moment can make a big difference.
Some key areas to focus on when preparing:
- Signs of labor.
- The stages of labor.
- Emergency scenarios and what to do.
Take the classes, read the books, and empower yourself with knowledge.
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Build a Postpartum Support System
Once the adrenaline fades, you’ll need all the support you can get. For me, having a postpartum doula and prepped meals made a huge difference.
A postpartum doula can help with everything from newborn care to supporting older kids, giving you time to rest and recover. Prepping meals (or ordering catering!) ensures you’re nourished without the stress of cooking.
Get Prepared To Stick Up for You!
Labor doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s okay. The key is to prepare yourself, surround yourself with support, and trust your instincts. My unexpected home birth was a powerful reminder that as moms, we often know what’s best for our bodies and our babies.
Whether you’re planning for a hospital delivery, a home birth, or something in between, remember: you deserve to be heard, respected, and supported every step of the way.
If you’re looking for postpartum essentials to make recovery a little easier, explore our RoseRelief™ Postpartum Recovery Undergarment and other must-haves designed by moms, for moms.
